Lenity

~

My shadow is growing longer

I haven’t heard anyone laughing

We must be the last ones left

I don’t have to look to know you’re there

Whoever you are, your mother is calling you

I thought her voice was calling me

But then she called you sweetie

My mother never says that anymore

The other kids have been laughing, playing

I haven’t spoken a single word

No laughter, no smiles, no friends

Just like my mother, I’m alone

Her heart and smile went with him when he left

Why did he have to leave us?

Why did he have to take her and leave me?

My mother doesn’t remember that I’m here

I don’t even know if she remembers that she’s supposed to love me

I wish I could cry

But I don’t know if it’s right

Do you ever have to cry?

You, with the mother who loves you?

I wonder, is your voice the one I kept hearing

I wonder if you’re the one who laughed the loudest

You must be happy to go with her

It must feel nice to go back to an unbroken home

She calls you again, I don’t quite catch your name

I wasn’t listening

Just like no one listens to me

I kick the wood chips, I want to kick something else

I want to scream, and cry, and I want to be loved again

I wish my mother would hold me tight

Looking at my shadow, I see something

Another shadow, moving into mine

I didn’t hear you, you were so quiet

So different from your laughter

So very much like me

Your mother is calling, shouldn’t you go?

I look up to see why you’re here

You look at me, and I don’t know what you’re thinking

But I know you can tell that I’m sad

You wrap your arms around me and hold me tight

Squeezing gently, only for a moment

Then you let go

And you smile at me, your smile is happy

Suddenly you turn around and run

Running to your mother, to go home

You only look back once, still smiling

I think you were trying to make me happy

You don’t even know me, how could you know?

How could you tell that I was sad?

Somehow you knew, and you wanted to help

You were only here for a moment

Yet it still feels like you’re standing in front of me

I still feel like you’re hugging me, holding me

I start to smile, I don’t want to cry anymore

You knew, and I hope you still know

I hope you know that you were right, you succeeded

You made me happy!

~

Second in the pair of poems I wrote while experimenting with free verse poetry.