Ennui
~
The sky is turning purple
We’re the last ones on the playground
My mother calls me, her voice is firm but gentle
Your mother is still ignoring you
This whole time you’ve been sitting alone
Kicking the wood chips under the swing
She hasn’t looked at you at all
She’s been talking to a machine this whole time
I wonder if she even remembers that you’re here
The other kids asked you to play, and you didn’t answer
You just looked away and stared at the ground
I wonder, if you stayed quiet and alone
Would your mother leave you here and forget you?
It looks to me like she already has
My mother calls me again, we need to go home
It’s getting too dark, she says
Is it always dark for you?
Did you forget the sun, like you’ve been forgotten?
I wonder if your life is bright and happy
Or if you have to scream just to be heard
I don’t know who you are
You could be a bully for all I know
You could hate people, you could hate the sound of laughter
You might hate it when other people smile
And you might try to make their smiles go away
You could be mean, but I wouldn’t know
I’ve never seen you before
But I can see that you’re upset
I know that you’re sad
So before my mother calls me again, before I have to leave
I walk up to you, silent just like you
You don’t even notice me until I’m standing right in front of you
You look at me and I don’t see any tears that want to fall
But I still know that you’re alone and sad
I wrap my arms around your shoulders and hug you tightly
Only for a moment, before I have to let go
I smile at you once and then turn around, running over to my mother
I look back and I see you watching me
Maybe you wish you could be happy to go to your mother
Maybe you wish you didn’t have to be sad
I hope that today, I made you happy
I hope that you’ll remember that you can still smile
Even when your own mother forgets you
And I hope that one day, you’ll show someone else the same kindness I showed you
I hope that I made a little difference in your life
You don’t have to know someone to know that they’re sad
And you don’t have to know someone to make them happy again
I hope I made you happy.
~
First of a pair of poems I wrote when I started experimenting with free verse poetry.